team inpa bianchi giusfredi

So, team news for next year is out and as you might have already seen I will be joining the italian UCI-team Inpa Bianchi Giusfredi! As Matrix is heading in a new direction and steping down from being an UCI team to focus on development I had to look elsewhere. As I haven't been able to race more than 3 uci races in 2015 I knew it was a difficult task to find a team believeing in me enough to dare to sign me for 2016 after the year I've had and with the world tour coming up it's been a difficult thing for a lot of girls with teams going for points. I am super happy to have all the people who sees my potential and always believes in me and it's that kind of people and support I am trying to surround myself with. When I got in contact with the team I directly felt it was something there, it all went down in a few days and Im really glad for the opportunity they are giving me to get back to my best again! I hope that support will be a key to a succesful year.
My season will be based more or less in Toscany in the team house. It's an amazing area with beautiful mountains and all I will be needing and that will be an importent part in my way back as well. My main goals for next year is from end of june (nationals) and for the second part of the season with the olymics as the biggest one to get sellected to. It's a big goal but I am very focused and motivated to reach the form I need til than. The spring will be an importent period preparing for my goals and I am very excited to get started on 2016 already! It will be hard work, but I am prepared for that.
Bring it on!!
I also wanna send Matrix Pro Cycling and everyone involved -sponsors, staff,the girls -a big thank you for the chance I got with you and Im sad I didn't get to spend the summer with you guys! You did a great year and I wish you all the best of luck for the future.

the big day out

A week ago, I flew over to London to join Voxwomen on their Big Day Out (BDO). Voxwomen is, as I hope most of you know, a new platform where you can follow womens cycling on social media, see videos from races, interviews of female riders and so on. They now send a Show in a few different countries as well and are growing fast, this is a big sign that there is an interest and desire to see us girls ride as well. They are doing a very importent job and I was very happy to come and join them on the BDO with all they do to help us riders get a more professional stage.
So the BDO was a day where cyclists, no matter what level, could come ride with a few professionals (in this case; Lucinda Brand who's the Dutch RR champ, Hayley Simmonds who's the British TT champ -an upcoming pro, and me). So we went for a ride around beautiful Richmond park in sun shine (believe it or not ;)), than there was an Q&A ( ) and after all that we had an afternoon tea and I finaly got to try real British scones! It was all a succes and despite a wenedsday, in the middle of work hour there was about 25 riders showing up!!
Before all this, me and Lucinda had an interview each with Voxwomen for their TV show where they wanted to go a little deeper in to my last blog post and what makes me continue despite alot of setbacks. That and a question during the Q&A got stuck in my mind and I have thought a bit about it since. The question I got was; Have you always wanted to become a pro cyclist since you were a kid or did it come later?
So first of all, have I always wanted to become a pro rider? I started racing at age 5, I always had my 2 years older brother, 2 years older aunt and my 4 years older oncle by my side during my youth years and I was always the little one. We had so much fun riding and playing around on our bikes. I remember in the winters especialy when we had lamps on the bikes and rode in the dark. We always got chocolate during our rides from my grand dad and we had hard indoor sessions which I hated and I remember I cheated myself through alot of them to be honest...! Haha. The more I think about it the more I think I didn't really had my mind on being a pro at that time, it wasn't really a big dream of mine.. I know we had a pro each we loved and we said we were them, I know I was Pantani and my aunt was Ullrich, I reckon that was the closest I came to want to become a pro at that point. 
But the first time I can really remember knowing it was what I wanted was at age 15. When I was 14 I was so good that I can probably count my non podium spots on one hand, I remember the first TT that year, I rode better than the best 16 year old and people asked me for fun what I had in my oatmeal that morning. I cried on the way home becouse I felt so ashamed. I got double Swedish champ in cat. 13-14 aged girls. That year went so well that when I was 15 I wanted to quit. I didn't know if I raced becouse I always had or becouse I wanted to.. So I quit...But a month later I joined to see my brothers championships. There and than I understood and decided that this was what I wanted to do. After that break I haven't really had a doubt on what I want, even though alot of times I had reason to just lay flat down and give up. I've had long preiods with no motivation what so ever for different reasons but I have always, some way, known that if I just kept going I would be so thankful to myself later, becouse I was gonna go through it all. 
This brings me straight in to why I keep going and I can honestly say, I don't know really. But there are so many things that I love about the life I have and despite all the bad, I guess that always wins for me. So exept for the fact that I might have a screw loose who finds motivation from the head wind ;), here's a few things that makes cycling the best thing in life:
First of all, the obvious, I love cycling and even when my carrer is over I will probably ride til I die. It's just the best kind of training I could ever imagine.
Second of all, cycling has given me so much to life and it has made me grow as a person so much faster than I could ever had living a normal life. Just a simple thing like going to a new country at age 20, to a team where you know no one and everyone talks a very strange language (dutch)... To step out of your comfort zone that far can only change you for the better, right?
And as well, after 20 years of racing I do still develop on the bike at age 25! And that every year, which is also a big motivation.
Than there's all the amazing places you see and the big amount of cool people you get to know along the way. But also the understanding you get for others and the respect you learn to show riding in teams and living with people who are normaly from different parts of the world.. 
The list could be made very long but I guess you get it, I love cycling! ;)
Got quite deep once again, hope you enjoyed the read! Stay tuned to find out about next year in the near future. Some exciting news to come!
Guess who's me?
14 years old

focus, determination, patience

It's been a while since the last blog so I figured it's time to give you guys an update. A lot has happend the past weeks and to start with, in the end of august I was declared healthy by the doctor and I could start my build up for real again. I took september day by day and I saw progress the whole time, had a couple of weeks dip with a very grumpy body. I can't expect not to, to be honest, but other than that it's gone quite well. Anyways, I even got to start the last Swe-Cup race and I was quite pleased with the way it went, even if I couldn't at all sprint after being a little bit to eager out on the course. But fun it was indeed! A little pre comeback race. :)

October has been my main focus, for a long time, to start up the training program again for real as long as everything kept going by the schedule I had hoped for. Which it has, better than hoped really. So in the start of october I had the privilege to go to Italy as one of the leaders of and that gave me the perfect chance to get plenty of hours on the bike (between 4-6h every day) and it was the perfect thing for me at this moment really. It was a fantastic week with plenty of fun and throw out the week I felt a progress in both strenght and recovery. 
So now I'm back in Sweden, it's starting to get colder and colder but my focus is very clear. My eyes are on 2016 and I want to be part of the Swedish squad for the Olympics, helping Emma all the way to a medal. My main need right now is hours on the bike and some strength at the gym in this period, building it all up again and my motivation is high. But more about that an other time.
So the past month, when things has landed and I've got everything sorted for next year, I have finally had time to reflect on 2015 and all the things that has happend. It's been though, there's been a lot of frustrations, tears and sad moments. But in the end, I am so proud of myself over how I have handled it all. I've tried throught this whole period to keep my head high, kept positive and I have developed a motivation that might be higher than ever.
There are times in every cyclist lives when you ask yourself if it's all worth it. Cycling is a hard world, in many ways to be honest. I have thought a lot about how far I have acctually come since my first junior race, when I crashed in to a sign on the side of the road. Lost teeth and damaged very much psysicly on my body but even more so mentaly. After have been very skilled on the bike with no fears what so ever, never even chrashed before, though I had raced since the age of 5.. I was suddently so so scared. Couldn't ride in a bunch of 15 girls without the fear. To think back on the road I've been on since than... Getting back to riding in the biggest womens pelotons there is with no fear what so ever. It's been a lot of hard work and I am so proud of how far I've come since than and the way I have done it.
When I started this year, in january, my form was better than ever. I felt confident after a hard 2014, but with a very good curve on the development scale. I wanted to show what I'm really capeble of and I was sure I had what it took after years of hard work, but the season 2015 was short lived. I was devestated really and I grabbed evey little positive thing the doctors said and hoped to be back soon, not until after 2 months I finally accepted that the season was over. 
I was heart broken, but from then there's only been motivation and I know what I want.
I am happy about where I'm at now, I am confident next year will be super good and I can't wait to be out there racing again. There will be news out about 2016 in the near future, so stay tuned. But for now I just want to thank every single one who's been suporting me in one way or another til now, especialy my family. Without you I wouldn't be where I'm at today♥
I choose to see this year as an other learning year for what's to come. You always learn things about yourself in hard times and I am in some way thankful and trying to see this as a positive thing. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger as they say. 
Focus, determination, patience.