focus, determination, patience

It's been a while since the last blog so I figured it's time to give you guys an update. A lot has happend the past weeks and to start with, in the end of august I was declared healthy by the doctor and I could start my build up for real again. I took september day by day and I saw progress the whole time, had a couple of weeks dip with a very grumpy body. I can't expect not to, to be honest, but other than that it's gone quite well. Anyways, I even got to start the last Swe-Cup race and I was quite pleased with the way it went, even if I couldn't at all sprint after being a little bit to eager out on the course. But fun it was indeed! A little pre comeback race. :)

October has been my main focus, for a long time, to start up the training program again for real as long as everything kept going by the schedule I had hoped for. Which it has, better than hoped really. So in the start of october I had the privilege to go to Italy as one of the leaders of and that gave me the perfect chance to get plenty of hours on the bike (between 4-6h every day) and it was the perfect thing for me at this moment really. It was a fantastic week with plenty of fun and throw out the week I felt a progress in both strenght and recovery. 
So now I'm back in Sweden, it's starting to get colder and colder but my focus is very clear. My eyes are on 2016 and I want to be part of the Swedish squad for the Olympics, helping Emma all the way to a medal. My main need right now is hours on the bike and some strength at the gym in this period, building it all up again and my motivation is high. But more about that an other time.
So the past month, when things has landed and I've got everything sorted for next year, I have finally had time to reflect on 2015 and all the things that has happend. It's been though, there's been a lot of frustrations, tears and sad moments. But in the end, I am so proud of myself over how I have handled it all. I've tried throught this whole period to keep my head high, kept positive and I have developed a motivation that might be higher than ever.
There are times in every cyclist lives when you ask yourself if it's all worth it. Cycling is a hard world, in many ways to be honest. I have thought a lot about how far I have acctually come since my first junior race, when I crashed in to a sign on the side of the road. Lost teeth and damaged very much psysicly on my body but even more so mentaly. After have been very skilled on the bike with no fears what so ever, never even chrashed before, though I had raced since the age of 5.. I was suddently so so scared. Couldn't ride in a bunch of 15 girls without the fear. To think back on the road I've been on since than... Getting back to riding in the biggest womens pelotons there is with no fear what so ever. It's been a lot of hard work and I am so proud of how far I've come since than and the way I have done it.
When I started this year, in january, my form was better than ever. I felt confident after a hard 2014, but with a very good curve on the development scale. I wanted to show what I'm really capeble of and I was sure I had what it took after years of hard work, but the season 2015 was short lived. I was devestated really and I grabbed evey little positive thing the doctors said and hoped to be back soon, not until after 2 months I finally accepted that the season was over. 
I was heart broken, but from then there's only been motivation and I know what I want.
I am happy about where I'm at now, I am confident next year will be super good and I can't wait to be out there racing again. There will be news out about 2016 in the near future, so stay tuned. But for now I just want to thank every single one who's been suporting me in one way or another til now, especialy my family. Without you I wouldn't be where I'm at today♥
I choose to see this year as an other learning year for what's to come. You always learn things about yourself in hard times and I am in some way thankful and trying to see this as a positive thing. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger as they say. 
Focus, determination, patience. 

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